12-17-09: Penguins 3, Flyers 2

After defeating the Flyers 6-1 on Tuesday, the Penguins had to travel here to Philly last night (Thursday) to play the second game of a home-and-home series. When asked about this game, Evgeni Malkin said, "I am ready. I have a helmet." I attended the game (as did my friends Rob and Dan), but thankfully, while Rob and Dan were down with the people in section 223, I was up in the press box with Mike Lang and Phil Bourque (the Penguins radio broadcast crew). Mike is always entertaining to listen to, though part of that stems from the fact that I think he drinks a lot.

I knew it was going to be a loud night from the moment they started handing out noisemakers to the crowd. As loud and belligerent as the Flyers fans are, they don't need to be further encouraged. The Flyers put the first goal in off of a crazy bounce that defected into the net off of Sergei Gonchar, making the crowd errupt into chaos. Bill Guerin quieted them down, though, with a powerplay goal to tie it up.



Chants of "Crosby Sucks!" echoed throughout the arena at least every five minutes, regardless of whether or not he was on the ice. It was very nice to see him score a goal in the middle of the second period to tie the game. The Flyers rallied and tried to regain the lead, but Fleury denied them at on every shot.


The third period and overtime were wicked. Malkin and Staal ran all over the ice like madmen trying to make something happen, but the Flyers held on, mostly by tripping as much as they could.


In perhaps what was the greatest sports moment I have personally witnessed, the end of the game came down to a shootout. Philly's first two shooters, Daniel Briere and Claude Giroux, were easily denied by Fleury, while Kris Letang came in made a wicked move to beat the Flyers goaltender Boucher, who was basically undressed like a girl on prom night (I'm not sure what that saying means, but Bunny says it's appropriate). It all came down to Crosby having a chance to put it away. The whole stadium began chanting "Crosby Sucks" and banging on their noisemakers, except for the few Penguins fans scattered throughout who hope Crosby would put the icing on the cake. One young boy in a powder blue #87 jersey was sitting a few rows behind Rob and Dan (who I could hear because Pandas have much more sensitive hearing than humans do), and he kept yelling "Let's go Crosby" (he had been doing so since the start of the 3rd period, much to the anger of the Flyers faithful). After all of the mental and meditation training I've put Sidney through, I knew he wouldn't let the pressure get to him. Crosby glided in, faked a move that froze Boucher like a deer in the headlights, and deftly floated puck past his glove hand.


Game over.



For the record, Crosby now has 50 points (22 goals, 28 assists) in 29 regular season career games against the Flyers, proving that he does indeed suck--he sucks the life right out of the Flyers.

As disappointed as I have been with the Steelers and their attitude, work effort, and execution the past few weeks (though that is a topic for a whole other post), I have become more impressed with the Penguins. They have a legitimate chance to repeat last seasons success. I will continue to work with their coaching staff to do my part to help them achieve their goals.

Pandaboo

If you still need a gift for anyone on your list, I highly recommend Pandaboo, if you can find it online. In Pandaboo, the object of the game is to balance bamboo sticks of various shapes on top of the Panda’s tummy and keep them from falling. The person who makes the sticks fall loses. Pandabo was an Oppenheim Toy Portfolio Platinum Seal Award winner in 2006. Bunny, Man-E-Faces, Duke, Cobra Commander, Destro, and I have spent many afternoons staging Pandaboo tournaments. Pandaboo is a simple yet entertaining game for adults and children. It is also conveniently made of sustainable bamboo. That makes Pandaboo recyclable, as you could just find a real Panda and feed it to him/her. If Bunny and I ever tire of Pandaboo and Karla doesn't want it anymore either, I'll just eat it as a tasty snack.

At first, I thought Pandaboo was somewhat exploitative in that the Panda is at first glance depicted as clumsy and unable to balance himself to hold the bamboo up, but the instructions describe the panda as "wrigley," which suggests to me the Panda is intentionally try to be off balance in order to test the skills of the players. From this viewpoint, the Panda becomes the game's main adversary, and the Panda always wins. It is only a matter of which player loses. I enjoy approaching the game from that viewpoint.

Rob Rob and Bunny's Restaurant Review: Gilmore's

Rob Rob (two panda thumbs up): First things first--if I were driving myself, parking would be a nightmare. Thankfully Bunny and I reserved a car. While West Chester was a cute little town, parking alone would stop me from going there. This is a serious problem that West Chester must urgently address if it ever expects to attract people from Philadelphia proper or other regions. Until then, West Chester will never live up to its potential.

We were greeted pleasantly when we arrived at Gilmore's, and were shown to a table near the window. The dining room was small, but not too cramped, and the service was also excellent. This noise level was quite low, and overall the atmosphere was very relaxed. Chef Gilmore came out to meet us, and was very excited that we were there to experience and review his restaurant.

The shredded short rib and cheesy polenta appetizer was delicious. It was a bit strangely served in a martini glass, but nonetheless it was absolutely excellent. For dinner I had Salmon with a lobster-flavored béarnaise. It was perhaps the best-cooked salmon I have ever had, but more importantly the sauce was beyond excellent. I would definitely order it again. I asked chef Gilmore if he could serve some steamed bamboo shoots with the salmon, and he was more than happy to oblige. All in all we had an excellent meal, and we highly recommend this establishment.


Bunny (two ears up): I must reiterate Rob Rob’s point about the parking. I’m glad that Cookie warned us about what a nightmare West Chester parking is, other wise I would have driven us over in Rob Rob’s Maserati. Even the tiny Maserati would have been tough to park in West Chester. Thankfully we were driven.

To start, I had the Vol au Vent d’Escargot (snails served in a garlic, hazelnut, and champagne butter sauce). It was excellent. For dinner, I had the Jarret d’Agneu Forestiere (slow braised lamb shank served over couscous). It was gamey, but nonetheless excellent. The couscous was larger than I have previously had, but I liked it that way. All in all an excellent meal, and my complements to Mr. Gilmore and his fine establishment, which is perhaps my new favorite restaurant in the Philly region. Too bad it is so hard to get and park there!

Panda Genes Sequenced

In Panda news, a study recently published in Nature reveals that the genome of the Panda (Ailuropoda melanoleura) has been sequenced by a group of scientists led by China's Jun Wang of the Beijing Genomics Institute in Shenzen. I am happy to have contributed blood samples for their sequencing. They found many genes shared by species such as humans and dogs, and interestingly, they hypothesize that the Panda itself is genetically more adapted for a carnivorous lifestyle than the vegan bamboo-based lifestyle most Pandas lead. They key to the Panda's ability to subsist on bamboo likely lies solely in the harmonious relationship between the Panda and his/her gut bacteria.

Humans can take a lesson from this: living in harmony with nature gives you many advantages.

Orpik Is Scary.

Malkin out 2-3 wks with shoulder injury

Dan Bylsma just called and informed me that Evgeni Malkin will be out for at least 2-3 weeks with a shoulder injury. I will be flying out to Pittsburgh tomorrow morning to assess his condition. As Bunny is a qualified acupuncturist (he picked up the art while traveling in South East Asia), he is traveling with me to help deal with the situation. I've already informed Mike Tomlin that we will need to consult with him as well.

With both Gonchar and Malkin out, the Penguins will need to work extra hard to maintain their impressive momentum, as they are coming off of an impressive 6-1 rout of the Canadians which included a Sidney Crosby hat trick. I trust that Jordan Staal will step up from centering the #3 line to the #2 line with little difficulty. The question is who will fill Staal's 3rd-line role, which would typically be shouldered by the always reliable Maxime Talbot, but he too is out until at least December. Once Dan Bylsma and I have properly assessed the situation, we will begin to talk strategy.

Rob Rob and Bunny's Movie Review: Year One

Rob Rob: (one panda thumb up, one panda thumb down)
While the basic premise was kind of weak, but the film was actually better than I thought it would be. I object to the use of solely western Judeo-Christain-centric characters in the film (one would have liked to see Buddha or Confucius step in at the end and kick some ass), but all-in-all it was okay.

Bunny: (one ear up, one ear down)
Eh, what can I say? It was kind of stupid, but had a few funny moments. If you expected it to be anything more than that, you are kind of stupid, too. Michael Cera and Jack Black play tribal versions of Michael Cera and Jack Black. There are some girls that are too hot for them that they end up hooking up with, and Jack Black inexplicably beats up a bunch of large armed guards at the end of the movie. Basically it makes very little sense but is worth watching once for a chuckle.

Rob Rob and Bunny's Movie Review: Burn After Reading

Rob Rob : (one panda thumb up, one panda thumb down)
Burn after reading is the first film made by the Cohen brothers since their Academy Award-winning "No Country For Old Men." This movie didn't suck as much as NCFOM, but it certainly wasn't great, either. For as many stars as their were in the movie, it was suprisingly boring. One would think that there would be something of artistic merit in the contrast of the banal of the everyday life of the gym employees and the spies at the CIA, but even that fails in the film. For a comedy, this was a little too dark, not that the darkness was disturbing, but rather it drowned out the humor. Also, the dim-witted characters are at first entertaining, but quickly become boring. Some may be amused by this movie (hence the one thumb up), but I wouldn't watch it again.

Bunny: (two ears down)
I met John Malkovich a couple of times, and he's just as much of an asshole as the character he plays in this film. People who comment about his performance don't realize that he wasn't acting at all. He was just being himself. This was a piece of shite. If Brad Pitt and George Clooney together can't save a movie from mediocrity, then nothing can.

Bamboo Revolution #1

Aside from being the most important component of the Panda diet (second only to frozen fruits, our favorite dessert), bamboo is one of the fastest growing woody plants in the world. There are >1000 species of bamboo, and it is an important plant both economically and culturally. Bamboo's long life makes it a Chinese symbol of longevity, while in India it is a symbol of friendship. Bamboo forests sometimes surround shrines as part of a sacred barrier against evil; many Buddhist temples also have bamboo groves.

Bamboo is important in modern economical development as well. This is (hopefully) the first post in a series on the importance of bamboo to the modern world.

Outside of Lusaka, Zambia, local craftsman build handmade bikes out of locally-grown bamboo. The company, named Zambikes, is owned by two Californians and two Zambians. Santa-Cruz-based bike designer Craig Calfee designed and built prototype experimental bikes using bamboo, and his tests suggested that bamboo's strength and lightness make it a great substitute for metal, and it has excellent vibration-dampening properties. These bikes are sold in the US at a cost of ~$500 for the frame and ~$900 for the entire bike. I highly suggest you look into this company if you are seeking to purchase a bike. Buying a Zambike helps support a developing nation, and is good karma for the global community.

Rob Rob and Bunny's Movie Review: Enter the Dragon (1973)

Rob Rob's Review (two panda thumbs up): Aside from the fact that this movie has some awesome fight scenes in it, I like it because Bruce Lee plays a Shaolin Monk. The main Shoalin temple was founded in Dengfeng China in the 5th century by Chan Buddhists. Shaolin monks practice the basic peaceful tenants of Buddhism, but when provoked, they release the fury of Shaolin Kung Fu, much like Pandas are typically docile creatures, but when provoked can turn into ferocious warriors.

Bunny's Review (two ears up): I first met Bruce Lee when he was playing Kato in "The Green Hornet," and over the years we hung out a few times here and there. I, like everyone else in the 1970's, was really into the whole idea of being a Kung Fu master. Bruce was one of the few people who actually was one, but it is important for me to point out that Jim Kelly (who plays "Williams," the black American in the film) was also an accomplished marital artist, and later went on to star in many blaxpoitation movies, including "Black Belt Jones" and "Black Samurai." Unfortunately the world lost Bruce not long after this movie was completed (but before he had finished "Game of Death"). However, Jim Kelly and I have crossed paths a few times here and there, and whenever we do, we inevitably light one up, talk about the 70's, and put this movie on. This movie is the definitive 70's Martial Arts movie. So many great fighting scenes and so much cool 70's dialogue (my favorite is when Williams is questioned by Han and Han's men come up behind him ostensibly to take him prisoner, and Williams looks at Han sitting behind the desk and says, "Man, you come straight out of a comic book..."). I have a lot of good memories about hanging out on the set of "Enter the Dragon," so I may be a bit biased, but I really think this is the most important martial arts movies ever. Everyone was involved. I remember meeting Jackie Chan (who played one of the guards) for the first time, and after he walked away, Bruce leaned over to me and said, "Bunny, that guy could be a good marital arts actor, but instead I fear he will make really shitty action-comedy movies..." Bruce was right on, just like he was in this movie. Below is a picture of Bruce snapping Jackie's neck.

Name engraving is complete...

Bill Guerin sent me the picture above.

Stanley Cup Bling

I'm excited to say that today Bunny and I received our Stanley Cup rings. As coaching consultants, the organization felt that we were integral enough to the success of the team that we deserved championship rings. Bunny and I helicoptered to Pittsburgh and picked them up this afternoon, and I'm typing this post on my Blackberry as we fly back. I'm excited about my second championship ring. For those of you who've forgotten, here's a picture of my Steelers superbowl ring that I was given last spring:

I believe the Penguins ring is much more elegant, though I cherish them both. I don't, however, believe in wearing them because dwelling on past achievements distracts one from the work left to accomplish. Because of their importance and value, I keep them locked in a vault in a bank in Center City.

Rob Rob and Bunny's Movie Review: Slumdog Millionare

Rob Rob (2 panda thumbs down): I appreciate that this movie tried to illustrate the plot of oppressed people, namely the poor of India. Coming from an oppressed species, I have great sympathy toward all who fight oppression. However, I thought that this movie would be more uplifting, but it was instead horribly depressing. Even the somewhat happy ending wasn't enough...I mean, seriously, the mob killers are still probably going to come after the protagonist and his girlfriend is horribly scarred both mentally and physically. He probably has PTSD and will wake up screaming every night while having dreams about being tortured by the chubby Indian police guy. All the money in the world can't buy sanity, but it can buy medication, so I'm thinking that the best thing these two have going for them is that they can at least spend the rest of their pitiful lives medicated out of their mind on prozac and xanax so they can try to forget the horrible things that happened to them. I thought China was bad....I'm never going to India.

Bunny (2 ears down): What the fuck, man? Where was the trippy music and dancing? I was lead to believe that there would be trippy music and dancing. I was terribly disappointed. This movie was marketed as the "Feel Good Film of the Decade." Seriously, see the movie poster picture. This is more like the "Slit My Wrists Film of the Decade." I'd rather watch the fourth hour of the Today Show than watch this movie again.

Overall, we don't recommend this movie to you unless you like being depressed.

Panda News 9/29/09

Lin Ping (shown above), the Panda cub born this past May at Chiang Mai Zoo in Thailand, made her official debut to the public this week. Her birth came as a surprise to the zoo keepers, as they did not know her mother was pregnant. I spoke with her mother, Lin Hui, on the phone, and she told me that even she did not know she was pregnant; she was in fact not even aware that she had had sex. I am happy to report, though, that Lin Ping is currently doing very well.

Here are some baby pictures of Lin Ping sent to me by Lin Hui:

Bistro Romano Review

Bunny and I went to Bistro Romano this past week, and I thought I would share a review of the food. We went for the Lobster Fest, which includes a salad, lobster, and pasta side dish for $15.95.

All in all we had a good time, and would definitely go back again.

Ambiance: 4/5 stars.
The entrance to Bistro Romano is somewhat elegant and somewhat tacky, but it makes for a perfect cool old-timey combination. The bar was very cool, and was from a defunct luxury cruse ship called “City of Detroit III.”

A painting above the staircase down to the main restaurant also came from the same ship.

I can only assume that such looting has contributed heavily to Detroit’s current state of disrepair. The main restaurant is situated underground, with low ceilings and exposed beams that create a rustic charm. While I feel that Bunny and I were seated at one of the worst tables (perhaps they didn’t recognize that Bunny and I are as well-traveled as we are), the setting still made it charming, and it would be a nice place to take a date, if I was into that kind of thing.

Martini: 4/5 stars
Bunny’s martini was delicious and fruity, and promptly delivered.

Salad: 4/5 stars
The salad did not suffer from over-use of dressing, and the roasted red peppers added a nice flavor. I enjoyed the real olives. Bunny does not like olives, so he gave them to me. Bunny would have liked some carrots in the salad, but there were none.

Pasta: 4/5 stars
Simple linguini in a tomato basil sauce with parmesan cheese. Nothing fancy, but good. Sometimes simple is best. Bunny and I both enjoyed it.

Lobster: 4/5 stars
The lobster was yummy, though it was overly buttery. Strangely superbuttery. As if the lobster was force fed butter for several days before killing. Also, the shells were strangely soft, though the meat was not over-cooked. All in all it was a yummy, albeit slightly creepy, lobster.

Leave the gun, take the cannoli: 4/5 stars
I like the fact that the waitress brought all of the desserts to our table for us to view. It is nice to see a.) portion size and b.) composition of the desserts. Nothing is worse than ordering something and getting a tiny too-rich-to-eat dessert that costs $10. Bunny and I split a cannoli. I don’t think that Bunny enjoyed the fact that the cannoli had a strong pistachio flavor. However, I thought it was nice. The chocolate sauce was good, and the chocolate chips in the cream filling were a nice touch. At $7.95, dessert was very reasonably priced.

Bamboo availability: 0/5 stars
No bamboo dishes were found on the menu, much to my disappointment.

Prices: 4/5 stars
A decent lobster dinner for $14.95 is tough to beat. Drink and dessert prices were also very reasonable.

Service: 3/5 stars
The service was adequate. I would have liked to have had my water refilled, but no one ever came back to check on it. No one asked me if I’d like a second beer, either. I think restaurants are silly not to be attentive to drinks. They could have made an extra $3.50 off of me if they would have just inquired about my empty beer glass.

Overall rating: 3.5/5 stars.
We both really enjoyed this restaurant. It would have been rated higher had they included some appetizers containing carrots or bamboo on the menu.

Presidential Zombie Task Force

After meeting with Barack Obama and Milla Jovovich, we have jointly decided that the best thing to do is to create a national anti-zombie task force to plan how the world should defend itself against possible zombie attacks. Hopefully then other nations will follow the US, leading to establishment of a global anti-zombie network. Fortunately, due to my extensive connections in the military field, I suggested several individuals who I think will be perfect to lead such an initiative. Mr. Obama and Ms. Jovovich eagerly agreed with my choices. President Obama has pledged $10 billion in resources for the development of this task force, which will be lead by the following people:

Duke (Supreme Allied Commander in Charge of Anti-Zombie Operations)

First Sergeant Conrad S. Hauser (aka Duke) was born in St. Louis, and has experience with all aspects of infantry, artillery, and urban combat operations. He was at the top of his class at Ft. Benning, and joined the G.I. Joe team in 1983, He is fluent in English, French, German, and several South East Asian languages (Bunny told me that Duke knows how to say "prostitute" in at least 12 languages), which will allow him to effectively communicate with troops from all over the world. He was briefly involved in a relationship with fellow G.I. Joe member Scarlett, but since their break-up, he has "sworn off" women and dedicated his time solely to defending America with his fellow male soldiers. Duke often spends long hours behind closed doors with Man-E-Faces planning military operations until the wee hours of the morning. His dedication is exactly what is needed for this job.

Man-E-Faces (Anti-Zombie Counterstrike Force Leader)

Man-E-Faces was an actor who was captured by Skeletor and made to drink a potion that changed him into a vicious monster which attacked everyone it saw. With the help of He-Man and the Sorceress, Man-E-Faces changed back to his human self, but Skeletor asserted his dominance and turned him back into the monster. The struggle created a third persona, a super-intelligent robot which is neither good nor evil. Eventually Man-E-Faces learned to use all of his personalities for good. Human Man-E-Faces will work closely with Duke in planning anti-zombie strategy. Monster Man-E-Faces will help to guard the Anti-Zombie headquarters. We feel that Robot Man-E-Faces is the best choice for leader for the anti-zombie attack squad, as 1.) he will be immune to zombie bites because he is a robot and 2.) his super-intelligence and emotional disconnection will allow him to effectively and quickly kill all potential zombies without any hesitation. Man-E-Faces will take center patrol, because he has many faces.

Destro (Tactical Anti-Zombie Weapons Development)

James McCullen Destro XXIV, Laird of Castle Destro in the Scottish Highlands, has been developing weapons for Cobra Commander for many years. Selling arms to third world countries also allows him to maintain and run a personal private army (the Iron Grenadiers, led by former Spetsnaz agent General Mayhem). Destro’s development and military experience will be directed at creating anti-zombie weapons with a focus on quick eradication methods. In addition, his beryllium steel helmet will protect him from zombie bites.

Cobra Commander (Director of Anti-Zombie Research Operations)

Cobra Commander leads a clandestine military group that was originally bent on bringing the world to its knees. However, since the passing of Prop 8 in California, his army has been more focused on obtaining equal rights for all people. A little known aspect of Cobra Commander’s personality is his scientific ability. He has significant experience at the mad scientist level, particularly in the fields of biological and chemical weapons development, mind control, and genetic experimentation, having participated in several world domination schemes. Cobra Commander will lead the search for a cure for any Zombie outbreaks that arise, in addition to studying Zombie biology to identify any potential weak spots that can be exploited by Destro’s weapons. Past tensions between Cobra Commander and Destro (mainly over the leadership of Cobra) have eased in recent years, as the two have become quite fond of each other and are now roommates. I predict that they will have a solid working relationship.

Jerome “The Bus” Bettis (Public Relations Consultant)

Jerome Bettis is currently 5th on the National Football League’s all-time rushing list, and was selected for 6 pro bowls, all while suffering from asthma. Jerome will star in a series of TV commercials centered around the phrase “Asthma doesn't stop the Bus, and zombies don’t have to stop you!”

We ain't scared of no zombies....

Zombies

It has come to my attention that breaking scientific research (conducted in the lab of Dr. Robert J. Smith? at the University of Ottawa) has come to the conclusion that a zombie attack could be devastating to the human race. Thus, the Hollywood portrayal of the “Zombie Apocalypse” could be more realistic than previously thought. The conclusion of the study is that any Zombie outbreak must be met with a fast and effective counterstrike in order to prevent the outbreak from spreading. After reading the paper (Munz, et al., 2009, Infect. Dis. Mod. Res. Prog.), I fear that Zombies are one of the greatest threats facing the world today.

As Pandas are fierce warriors when provoked, I’m sure that any Zombie attack into Western China (particularly the Woolong area) would be swiftly repelled. However, there are not enough Pandas to completely rid the world of zombies should the human race fall, and thus a potential outbreak is of great concern to both the human and Panda communities.

I have contacted Milla Jovovich, and I would like to meet jointly with her and Barack Obama to discuss how the human and Panda races should begin to prepare for such an event.

A New Picture

Here is a picture that someone sent to me. It was snapped while Bunny and I were riding in a car with Bill Guerin with the Stanley Cup hanging out of the window. You can't see Bunny because he is driving. Bill Guerin is a cool guy.

Long time, no write...

I have received many concerned emails in regards to the lack of blog posts over the past several weeks. I would just like to assure everyone that everything is fine. I was just very emotionally drained after the Penguins Stanley Cup championship, and I needed some distance and time to mediate and reconnect with my inner peace. Additionally, I've been spending a lot of time on my novel and on some other business projects. Steelers training camp starts in August, and I'm trying to get as much non-sports consulting work done during the summer. Additionally, when the weather is nice, Bunny and I spend a couple of hours a day planning out and practicing our long snapping and special teams coverage in our courtyard.

For now, I will post a couple of pictures of Bunny and me during our trip to Pittsburgh for the Penguins Stanley Cup parade.

Here is a picture of me sitting on Jordan Staal's shoulder as Bunny (off camera) drinks champagne from the Stanley Cup:



Here is a picture of me with Conn Smythe Trophy winner Evgeni Malkin:



Here is a picture of Bunny and me at PNC park the Saturday after the win, right before the Pirates played the Detroit Tigers (the Pirates actually won!):



Here is a picture of Bunny and me riding in a car in the parade with Marc Andre Fleury and Sidney Crosby:

Whoooooooooo!

Do it.

Let's get this done so we can go on vacation.

Game 7. The final game.

Mike Tomlin, my colleague and one of the greatest leaders I have ever met, frequently talks about the importance of looking forward and not backward. Just yesterday, when discussing the recent Steeler workout minicamp with the media, he said, "I am not concerned about what happened in '05, '06 -- '07 or '08 for that matter," said Tomlin. "I am a singularly focused guy. My single focus is on developing a world championship-caliber team for 2009." Not to dismiss what happened last season because "it was an awesome team," Tomlin said. But, "Where we are is where we are. Where we are headed, more importantly than that, is our focus."

For the Penguins to win tonight, they must adopt the same "singularly focused" attitude. They must forget about every game that has passed and focus all of their thoughts, energy, and intensity on tonight's game. Nothing else exists. Their focus must be razor sharp. If they can do that, they will cut through their opponents like butter. The season ends tonight. The only question is which team will be the champions.

Bill Guerrin and a Chicken